The Rules of Chocolate

• If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
• The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
  The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
• Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
  It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
• If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
  Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
• If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?
  Don't they actually counteract each other?
• Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
• Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
  Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
• Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
  That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place.
  Now, isn't that handy?
• If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
  But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
• If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?